February 14, 2017

By Katy Ray

Ah, you knew it was coming: Valentine’s Day. The day where plush stuffed animals peer at us with judgmental, beady eyes, forcing us to look internally and question our life decisions as we fill our shopping carts with enough food to feed one person for a week and grab a bottle of wine to help reassure ourselves that we are not alone, we are not undesirable, and we are not failing at life. No matter what your relationship status has been for the past year or so, planning and preparing for Valentine’s Day as a single person can be an emotional roller coaster. But it doesn’t have to be.

Not enough people realize that there’s nothing wrong with being alone. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being single and happy. We have long since been conditioned to internalize the idea that if no one wants to play with us, we must be ugly, worthless, or defective—but this is simply not true. You are beautiful, you are worthy, and you are a shooting star. It’s time to shake off that single sadness and embrace your relationship status. It’s time to put the I in Valentine’s Day.

If you’re single, the theme of today is #treatyoself. After all, Americans are spending a collective six billion dollars a year on the holiday named after a man who was sentenced to death for performing secret marriages after Claudius the Second banned marriage (Claudius thought that single men made better soldiers), so you can certainly decide to splurge on that new designer top or those new fresh kicks you’ve been eying. And don’t forget to celebrate the fact that you’re not living in the middle ages. Medieval times is just a restaurant chain.

What’s something you’ve always wanted to do for yourself? Make a list and tackle it over the next month. Here’s one to get you started:

  1. Find a new hobby: Order some materials, get a croche kit, and put yourself to work. Knit yourself a hat, a scarf, some gloves, or something else to keep yourself warm all year long.
  2. Write: Pick up a pen and write a poem. Sit down at your laptop and write your life’s story. No matter what you write, honor your voice and your ideas.
  3. Indulge yourself: Pick up your favorite take out and binge watch your favorite shows on REVRY. Buy yourself a pack of Valentine’s Day chocolates and feed them to yourself, because nothing is more sexy than catching up on good tv.
  4. Have a party: Call your girlfriends, your guyfriends, your transfriends, and your bifriends, and throw yourselves the biggest party you’ve ever had in honor of being the person you are right now, at this very moment, because you’ve got so much to celebrate today.
  5. Cook a meal: Hop on Pinterest and find a killer recipe for something so complex and so unique that you’ll have no choice but to take that Instagram photo for all your friends.
  6. Shop til you drop: Check your finances, determine what you’d spend if you did have a Valentine, and then spend that money on you. Food and wine make for a really good time, but clothes and shoes last forever.
  7. Take a sexy selfie: Wash your face, do your hair, put on your favorite outfit, and take as many sexy selfies as you like. Embrace your body, your face, and the unique features that make you truly you.
  8. Go to the spa: Treat yourself to a relaxing massage, a facial, or any number of services aimed at pampering the body. You’ll feel re-energized and ready to tackle the rest of the work week.
  9. Take a class: Check out a local dance studio, yogo studio, or gym, and take up a new form of social interaction. Kickboxing is a great way to get out all that pent up angst about your exes.
  10. Celebrate your singledom: Being in a relationship is a ton of work, but right now, the only person you have to work with is you. No matter what you’re doing today, take time to yourself to celebrate everything you have and everything you are. You are exactly where you’re supposed to be.

But even if after all this, you still feel really down, just remember: there’s a pretty big universe out there. With seven billion people populating over 204 countries—and with more and more of them coming out of the closet every day—there’s sure to be someone out there waiting for you. Start with our app, and see where the universe takes you.