January 7, 2018

By Katy Ray

New Year’s is a time to reflect on the past, set new goals, and enter 2018 with a fresh, new mindset. Whether your New Year’s resolutions include a new diet and fitness plan, saving money, or learning a new skill, having a supportive partner during this time in your life will undoubtedly make or break your resolution success.

According to a study by Static Brain, only about 41% of Americans actually take the time to make resolutions, and of that percentage, over half quit pursuing their resolution after a month. Being a supportive partner to your significant other and learning the skills to help support and manage your goals, as well as theirs, can help ensure you reach your goals and sustain them well into the 2018 year.

If you’re currently in a relationship, take note of some of the ways you can support your partner as he/she/they enter a new year and set big goals:

Discuss your Resolutions Together

Communication is key in any relationship; communicating your resolutions and creating them together will invest both you and your partner in your goals for the upcoming year. Are you both interested in saving money to buy a house, pay for a wedding, start a family, or take a trip together? Are you interested in getting fit and in shape together? They say the couple that sweats together stays together. Whatever your resolutions are, sitting down and discussing them—or making a dream board and placing it in a visible section of your household—is a good first step toward building support and holding each other accountable.

Agree on What Support Looks LIke for You  

For many of us, weight loss can be a sensitive subject. Incorporating your partner into your weightloss goals is important—especially if you’re eating the same food or eating in the same house. That being said, it’s imperative that you sit down with your partner and outline the ways you want him/her/them to support you in your weakest moments. Be explicit: tell your partner what you want him/her/them to say to you when you try to reach for that bag of potato chips or skip the gym for the 3rd day in a row. Having a partner make comments about your workout routine or your food intake can be hurtful, so discuss what support looks like ahead of time. This can help alleviate that hurt or pain you might feel when your partner attempts to support you.

Additionally, if your goal is to save money, discuss what support looks like. A fight is almost surely waiting to happen if you want to purchase that expensive video game, and your partner haphazardly says “what about our spending goals?” Discussing what you’re comfortable with, and what you’d like your partner to say before you get into that situation, will surely help communication and respect.

Schedule Weekly Resolution Check-Ins

If you’re anything like me, you’re easily sidetracked and can forget to check in with yourself or others about your goals. Your schedule fills up with so many responsibilities, from work to family, that you can forget to sit down with your partner and “check in” about your goals. Sitting down, listening to your partner’s needs, and providing support will build the foundation of your relationship and strengthen your connection. Having a partner who cares about your goals and who provides meaningful feedback about them is a godsend, and can encourage and motivate you to keep going past the one month slump.

Practice Compassion and Empathy

As we learned above, only half of Americans even set resolutions, and half of them don’t even last past a month. Prepare for you and/or your partner to fail, and if that happens, practice compassion and empathy. Remember that we are all flawed humans with weaknesses. Be loving, and kind, and give your partner space to make mistakes. When he/she/they are ready, encourage and motivate them to get back on track. There’s no shame in falling off the bandwagon, as long as you pick yourself back up and keep it moving. If you cheat on your diet, wake up the next day, shake off that shame, and go back to reaching your goals.

Here at LGBTQutie.com, we wish you the best as you tackle your New Year’s goals!